Kishore Singh: St Valentine's Day massacre

PEOPLE LIKE US

The announcement that Prince Charles and Camilla Parker-Bowles are to marry couldn't have been better timed, coming as it has just a few days before February 14.

No doubt, being the House of Windsor's Valentine will give the island's First Mistress a greater legitimacy than she has enjoyed all these years that she has had a relationship with the heir who would be king.

And even though middle age may have cooled their ardour somewhat, in the jewel that was once brightest in the British crown, the natives are just beginning to discover that without Valentine there was no love.

Some years ago, I had laughed off all this Valentine nonsense as so much fuss over card companies wanting to make an extra buck selling cards with syrupy-sweet love messages. But far from being just a fad, Valentine's went on to become a virtual Indian festival, with family members going out of their way to look for cards and gifts to give each other.

Valentine Day in India recognised no barriers "" sisters and brothers, grandmoms and aunts, uncles and nieces were all Valentine sweethearts without, let me hasten to add, any suggestion of incest.

But even that was but a passing phase. Valentine Day 2005 in India has consolidated its position as another marketing opportunity, but this time it's aimed only at sweethearts "" age no bar. Check the dailies, they're full of offers and packages "" everything from long naughty weekends to romantic meals for two.

No longer does it matter that Valentine's was some silly puppy love thing, a day boys and girls with a crush on each other could hold hands and give each other a red rose while blushing at their heart's confession. It's targeted now at the middle-aged and the successful. No wonder every smart restaurant in town has a special promotion, bands are strumming love songs, special brunches are being organised.

Don't believe me? Serious jewellery houses such as Frazer and Haws (established 1869) have created sterling jewellery ranges especially for Valentine Day. Moet & Chandon has tied up champagne dinners at select hotels and restaurants in the metros.

Nightclubs and lounge bars have cleaned up their acts with special menus and couples-only tables. Gift and design stores promote their products as aggressively as at Diwali. Television soaps are full of characters asking each other: "Will you be my Valentine?"

"You're just an old cynic," says my wife, when I complain about the trivialisation of love. "Besides," she says, "Sarla's husband is buying her a diamond for Valentine's, so you must buy me something that is more expensive than her gift, else she won't stop crowing about it." "But I'm broke," I protest, "besides, what's the point of splurging money for some some silly, sentimental thing that doesn't count for much?"

"Oh, you!" protests my wife, flouncing off. "Boy," says my son, "it's a tough job being a guy." "Wait till you're married," I crib, "you never really know a woman till you're married to one." "I don't know," he says, "I'm getting a lot of grief, and I'm not even married." "Who from?" I ask. "There's this girl," he confesses, "she's like my Valentine, I guess."

"Why are you telling me this?" I eye him suspiciously. "You know how it is," he says, "this whole gift business. I'm broke and need you to advance me a loan on next month's pocket money."

He looks at me: "It's really, really important." If it's that significant for him, I guess it's important for his mom too, and what the hell, it's okay even if Prince Charles wants to take his date out for a fancy bite. Service at Buckingham Palace isn't as good as it used to be.