The uproar on social media over PepsiCo CEO Indra K Nooyi's remarks earlier this month that women "can't have it all" is a classic case of much ado about nothing. The lady with an extraordinary corporate career has publicly acknowledged that at some point balancing family and work becomes a zero-sum game and she has chosen work despite a twinge of guilt that was sometimes hard to get past.
Given that a lot of women are exercising that option these days, it beats logic to make such a big deal about the statement. Nooyi is being criticised for making millions of women feel that they are to blame if they cannot manage to rise up the ladder as fast as men and also have a family and an active home life. But the charge is unfair.
Rather, Nooyi should be complimented for having the courage to come face-to-face with the fact that we all have to make hard choices. In any case, she has been frank about the elusive balance between career and motherhood. As more and more such icons talk about their struggles to excel professionally, perhaps we can acknowledge more candidly that every choice has its costs and benefits.
In any case, do women need to have it all? As Facebook Chief Operating Officer Sheryl Sandberg said in her book, Lean In, the coining of that phrase is perhaps the greatest trap ever set for women. No matter what any of us has - and how grateful we are for what we have - no one has it all. Nor can they. The very concept of having it all flies in the face of the basic laws of economics and common sense. Being a working parent means making adjustments, compromises and sacrifices every day and that's inevitable, Sandberg said.
But unfortunately, after Nooyi's speech, "have it all" will become the go-to term when discussing the speed bumps women continue to stumble over when trying to fulfil, and sometimes shed, their traditional roles as mothers with their new roles as ambitious and successful career women.
The problem exists all over the world. There are examples galore of a majority of talented, highly educated women getting lost somewhere on the climb between the graduation podium and the C-suite. Some go part-time or drop out of the workforce entirely since they find it hard to combine family responsibilities with the ultra-long working hours and the anytime, anywhere culture of senior corporate jobs.
Even those high-achieving women who want to return in full force once their maternity leave ends, often find the road back far more treacherous than they had anticipated since positions disappear and salaries plummet. One research paper found that women with kids make roughly seven to 14 per cent less than women without them.
In her book, Sandberg gives a classic example of this deep-rooted discrimination against working women: In 2003, Columbia Business School professor Frank Flynn and New York University professor Cameron Anderson ran an experiment. They started with a Harvard Business School case study about a successful venture capitalist named Heidi Roizen. Half the students in the experiment were assigned to read Heidi's story. The other half got the same story with just one difference - the name was changed from Heidi to Howard.
When students were polled, they rated Heidi and Howard as equally competent. But Howard came across as a more appealing colleague. Heidi was seen as selfish and not "the type of person you would want to hire or work for." This experiment showed the bias even corporate America has against women. When a man is successful, he is liked by both men and women. When a woman is successful, people of both genders like her less.
Talking about Nooyi, what does rankle is her revelation about her mother asking her to go out and get milk even though her husband had been home for hours ("He's tired," her mother reasoned) and the family employed several housekeepers. Nooyi had left work early at about 10 p m and was eager to break the good news that she had been promoted as Pepsico president. After Nooyi finally spit out the news, her mother's response was simple: "You might be president of PepsiCo. But when you enter this house, you're the wife, you're the daughter, you're the daughter-in-law, you're the mother. You're all of that. So leave that damned crown in the garage."
The statement comes as a shock since it comes from the mother of one of the world's most powerful corporate executives, but that's an experience with which thousands of working women in India would be quite familiar.
It is sad that the substantive part of the message Nooyi was trying to convey drowned in the din of "have it all".
In any case, what's the guarantee that being a stay-at-home mom doesn't bring in frustration and guilt over the financial dependence and struggle, failure to meet aspirations, the degree gathering dust and condescending attitude from people?
Disclaimer: These are personal views of the writer. They do not necessarily reflect the opinion of www.business-standard.com or the Business Standard newspaper
