It's an eerie feeling groping in the dark when you are hurtling through space at 474 miles per hour at a height of 34,000 feet above sea level. The eeriness can become terrifying if you stop to think of what the last moments must have been like for the 239 hapless people on board the Malaysian Airlines jet. But I am not talking of anything so dire. It's just that last Monday's Emirates EK 573 from Kolkata to Dubai had no reading lights.
That sounds simple. It's not. On a 2,093 mile journey, when the packed aircraft is plunged into darkness for long spells during take-off and landing, as well as for several spells during the five-hour flight, passengers are advised to switch on the reading light up above. You flick the switch and nothing happens. You manage to stop a steward who is rushing past (they always rush) the narrow aisles and he tells you to wait just five minutes. The whole system is being reset, he explains.
Others repeated that assurance. Pretty smiling air hostesses and pretty scowling air hostesses, some pleasantly, others sharply. The steward returned or, rather, I managed again to stop him in his tracks as he was rushing past in the opposite direction. "Five to 10 minutes. The whole system will be reset!" he announced and ran away again.
That must have been the longest "five to 10 minutes" in history. The reading light didn't work until the aircraft hit the runway at Dubai airport. It was of no use then. We had spent much of the journey in the dark. "I can lend you my mobile," said the rushing steward at one time, with what I thought was cheeky flippancy. Menus were thrown at us in the dark but remained unread though I saw one passenger produce a pencil torchlight. Reading was out of the question.
One touch of grace in that graceless experience: the only Indian hostess in a crew of 11 nationalities came up to me with a namaste and apologies. "It's not your fault," I assured her but she insisted it was since she worked for Emirates. The lights had been working all right when they had left Dubai for Kolkata. That started me thinking. Isn't some form of inspection carried out before an aircraft is allowed to take off? It wasn't only the lights that wouldn't work. The TV system didn't either.
You couldn't see a film from the beginning. You had to watch it from the point that was then showing. Nor could you rid the screen of bright notices that read "Off mode", "Video channel", "Up", "Down" and "Audio scan". It's a small enough screen anyway. With all that lettering and any number of arrows, precious little of the picture was visible. I sought the help of several stewards. To no avail.
Emirates alone isn't to blame. Perhaps major technical matters are checked before a plane takes off, but, clearly, no attention is paid to small things that make for passenger comfort. Ask for blankets and you might hear, "Sorry sir, we don't have any." Choose the most alluring dish on the menu and you will be told it's finished even though they have only just started serving. On this occasion, my seat refused to recline, so I had to sit bolt upright for five hours.
International flights out of Kolkata are the worst. Lufthansa once had the film sequences mixed up and refused to refund the money it charged separately in those days for headsets. I remember asking for a martini on Air India's Kolkata-Hong Kong sector before it was abolished but they didn't have any. "We serve martinis on all our western services!" Why the discrimination? Kolkata passengers pay exactly the same fares. They also seek value for money.
The Emirates' dinner menu between Kolkata and Dubai didn't mention drinks. I asked and the hostess said, of course, they would serve drinks. I pointed out they had already started serving dinner and that it was customary to offer drinks before a meal. I was rewarded for my pains with two bottles (small, of course) of red wine before the drinks trolley reached anyone else. But I am quite sure they would have got away with serving nothing at all if I hadn't been persistent. Since the menu was silent on the point, one must suppose this was planned deprivation.
Things were altogether different on the Emirates EK 105 from Dubai to Athens. The staff was cheerful and courteous. I was offered a blanket without asking. The food was infinitely better. When the serving trolley ran out of the beef I wanted for lunch, the steward at once telephoned the hatch to send another casserole. And there was no trying to get out of serving drinks.
The menu had two claims I don't recall seeing on the first sector. One read "Emirates invites you to enjoy its award-winning cuisine, complemented by the finest beverages from a selection of Wines, Spirits, Beers, Liqueurs & Soft Drinks." The other sounded equally hospitable. "All drinks served are complimentary with the exception of champagne ($15). Meals served on this flight are Halal. We apologise if occasionally your choice is not available."
The TV screen wasn't cluttered with signs and symbols no one could remove. I pushed my seat back and slept. The lights shone brightly when I wanted to read. We were flying to Europe, after all.
The contrast between EK 573 and EK 105 highlighted two conclusions. First, passengers from or to Kolkata are often short-changed. Second, aircraft are not vetted thoroughly before taking off. That can mean bigger mishaps than the small inconveniences Emirates inflicted on us.
Disclaimer: These are personal views of the writer. They do not necessarily reflect the opinion of www.business-standard.com or the Business Standard newspaper
