To the man who molested me last night

Sexual harassment is the greatest leveller for women in India, writes Indulekha Aravind

This article was originally published by Business Standard in 2015

I’m convinced sexual harassment must be the greatest leveller for women in India. Rich or poor, in a short skirt or a nun’s robe, native or expatriate, in north, south, east or west India, it does not matter. For if you, my friend, are a woman who has the temerity to walk the streets in India, or even just be, you will be molested. It could be a lewd comment, a quick grabbing of whatever part of your body is most convenient, or worse. 

It is such a unifier that you could even think of making it the next ice-breaker at that awkward party where there are too many disparate groups.

 

“Hi, I’m Tina, I was felt up on the bus last week - what about you?”

“Lovely to meet, you. I’m Anjali, molested by my ex-boss, who grabbed me at the office party.” 

This is driven home whenever you fool yourself that you have somehow insulated yourself, and that you have taken every “precaution”. Like last night, when I was walking from office at 8 pm, through what I had always considered one of the safest residential neighbourhoods in Bangalore, Brunton Road, home to more than a couple of celebrities. And then a man on a motorbike rides up behind me, molests me and speeds off, before I could take down his registration number 

I am keenly aware that I’m speaking from a position of privilege as a member of the English-speaking “elite” in this country, whose voices mostly tend to drown out every other. But I’m equally aware that what happened last night could happen to anyone. That there is nothing that could have prevented it, even avoiding chowmein, as was helpfully suggested once. 

One could also say that what happened last night is what we term “not a big deal”, possibly because these are hardly isolated incidents. According to the National Crime Records Bureau statistics, in 2013, there were 70,739 cases of “assault on women with intent to outrage her modesty,” nearly double the number recorded in 2009. 

But still, I have some questions for that man on the bike: Did you plan this in advance? Did you, for instance, think: “Tonight, when I’m riding back home to my family, I should molest a woman”. 

Have you been practising how to get this right for years - speed up, grab, speed off? 

The answers will not undo anything. I honestly do not know what will finally make things change, and feel free to argue that neither will this blog. 

Perhaps I should be content with making this my contribution to the next cocktail party.