Actress Kangana Ranaut has once again spoken about her spat with Hrithik Roshan, saying she "felt naked" when her personal letters were made public and she would often cry herself to sleep.
Hrithik, 42, and Kangana had slapped each other with legal notices earlier this year. The actor claimed he never had an affair with 29-year-old Kangana and she should apologise while the actress maintained otherwise.
Speaking about her experience in third person at Reebok's FitToFight awards, Kangana said she is proud of her ability to stay in love even though "my world or environment" does not allow or respond in the same way.
"I know the things I'm going to say, will get me into trouble, but I wouldn't be doing justice to the evening if I hold back," said Kangana, adding that being a storyteller, she would like to talk in third person.
"There was this young girl in the mountains. She had a lot of fire in her and was very unusual, extremely dreamy, impractical, naive and stubborn. She was 14, when she saw a picture of a man and she fell in love with him. That picture led her to cross oceans, deserts, mountains and landscapes.
"She is standing under stars with the man and this man kisses her and he says I love you. What happens is that this man says that she is not a normal girl, she has a lot of fire in her belly. And she isn't even a human, she is a lion... So, the man gets scared of this woman and that's when the whole love story becomes a tragedy."
Kanagana said what she was not prepared for was the "extreme brutality".
"I am talking because people have seen how I have put up a strong front to fight but nobody has seen what I feel as a woman, when I am subjected to that kind of brutality. The letters that I might have written, which were brutally exposed to the world.
"... Every letter that you've written to your lover holds a lot of vulnerability? You are exposing part of your soul or yourself, not to the world, to an individual. I felt extremely naked in front of the world. I cried for nights in my room and the worst was most of it was not even genuine or authentic," she claimed.
The actress said she chose not to answered to that brutality in the same spirit but she was scared when the letters were made public. She asked her sister Rangoli about the nature of those letters and was told that most of them express a desire for a man.
"I said I would not go and defend myself for that. What is wrong in that? This is the very mindset that I did not want to encourage... It was a very traumatic time for me."
Kangana said she is an ambitious career woman who does not see anything wrong in having everything and the scandal attacked this aspect of her personality.
"You may become this successful woman but it does not change men and their expectations from you... They think you can't have everything... I don't want to be a little keep or mistress... Today it still hurts when they write it as the ugliest scandal and fight. For me, it is not.
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