Vidya Balan has seen a lot of ups and downs in her 11-year film career but the National award-wining actress says she has never felt competitive throughout the journey.
The 38-year-old actress says she always appreciates the hard work of other people but has never followed someone else's path of success.
"I've never felt competitive in the industry. I watch other people's work and if I like something, I really appreciate it. But it never makes me feel like 'Oh my god I wish I could be like him or her'. I'm not competitive by nature. I don't even compare any two films of mine," Vidya told PTI.
The actress says such things don't really bother her because she has always lived in her own world with two supportive pillars - her parents - who raised her to be a confident girl.
"I've grown in confidence. As you grow in age and experience and you see success, your confidence grows. One of the most invaluable gifts my parents have given both my sister and me is the freedom to be ourselves and that confidence comes from there."
Vidya, whose next "Kahaani 2: Durga Rani Singh" directed by Sujoy Ghosh releases tomorrow, says at times she also loses that confidence in herself but always makes sure to get it back.
"Me and my sister both have always been very confident people. Sometimes that confidence gets shaken up and you doubt yourself but somehow we manage to bounce back," she says.
She may be called one of the finest actresses in the Indian film industry for her performance in films like "Parineeta", "Bhool Bhoolaiya", "Paa", "The Dirty Picture" and "Kahaani" but Vidya has also faced criticism for her back-to-back flops.
The actress says it's really shattering when her movies don't work because it involves a lot of effort of many people.
"I was heartbroken when my films didn't do well. Because, I give so much of myself to the film that it's really shattering. But, I grieve and get over it because unless you do that you can't move forward. So, it was important for me to vent out.
Vidya says there is no particular reason why some of her
films did not do well at the box office.
"You doubt yourself, you ask yourself - should I have done this? Should I have done it any differently? But all these questions are normal and by the end of it you realise that you don't have any answers.
"And it just didn't work because it didn't work and that's sad but that's the only truth."
Vidya's next "Kahaani 2: Durga Rani Singh" is again a women-centric film and also stars Arjun Rampal.
When asked if she only prefers working in women-centric films, the actress says, "I'm at the centre of my universe and I'm a woman so, I tend to choose those films where women are at the centre of the plot, which means there isn't much scope for a male actor in it.
"But in 'Kahaani 2' Arjun's got an extremely vital role. And that is the reason Arjun did it. There will be those instances also. But a lot of times therefore I don't get to work with known actors. But that's fine. As long as the actors fit the part I'm happy," she said.
