Actress Jiah Khan, who allegedly committed suicide last Monday, was heartbroken because of her boyfriend Suraj Pancholi's "womanising", a note found three days after her death has revealed, even as her mother today claimed she suffered "trauma and abuse" at the hands of her lover and his father.
The note mentions the "deep hurt" the 25-year-old felt at having to abort her baby with Suraj and reflects the rocky relationship she had with her boyfriend, son of actor couple Aditya Pancholi and Zareena Wahab.
Suraj and Aditya Pancholi have already been questioned in connection with the incident and a source in the police department said there was "sufficient evidence" to arrest Jiah's boyfriend.
The 5-page note, meant for Suraj which has been handed over to the police, says," When I first met you (Suraj) I was driven, ambitious and disciplined. Then I fell for you, a love I thought would bring out the best in me. I don't know why destiny brought us together. After all the pain, the rape, the abuse, the torture I have seen previously I didn't deserve this."
"I don't know how to say this to you but I might as well now as I have nothing to lose. I've already lost everything. If you're reading this I might have already left or about to leave. I am broken inside," the document which reads like a suicide note, says.
"You may not have known this but you affected me deeply to a point where I lost myself in loving you. Yet you tortured me everyday. These days I see no light I wake up not wanting to wake up," it said, mirroring the troubled state of the actress' mind.
The letter reads, "It didn't matter how many gifts I gave you or how beautiful I looked for you. I was scared of getting pregnant but I gave myself completely (the) pain you have caused me everyday has destroyed every bit of me, destroyed my soul."
Jiah wrote, "If I stay here I will crave you and miss you. So I am kissing my 10-year career and dreams goodbye. I never told you but I received a message about you. About you cheating on me. I chose to ignore it, decided to trust you. You embarrassed me."
The actress felt "deeply" hurt after she had to abort her baby.
"You destroyed my life. It hurt me so much that I waited for you for ten days and you didn't bother buying me something. The Goa trip was my birthday present but even after you cheated I still spent on you. I aborted our baby when it hurt me deeply," Jiah said in the letter.
