In her first interview since her latest rehab stint, Lindsay Lohan admitted to Oprah Winfrey that she lied about her cocaine use but the troubled actress said she is now determined to start afresh.
Lohan, 27, has previously stated that she used the drug three or four times, she told Winfrey on her network OWN that the actual number is more like 10-15 times, the Hollywood Reporter said.
"I was terrified of being judged," she said, adding that she snorted the drug but never injected herself with it.
"I'm an addict," Lohan said but insisted that her addiction is to alcohol. "That, in the past, was a gateway to other things for me. I tried cocaine with alcohol."
Lohan, who has been branded the problem child in Hollywood for her legal troubles and wild lifestyle, claimed she did not enjoy using cocaine.
"I never felt good the next day." But she took it because it allowed her to drink more. "It was a party thing. People would have it, and I'd do it."
"The Meangirls" star was terrified when she first found out about her jail trip.
"Having all the chaos around me that I was so comfortable with, I somewhere inside knew I wanted to go to jail. And I think that that was subconsciously being put out there just by my actions, or lack thereof," Lohan said.
Asked if she is "addicted to chaos," Lohan replied: "I think so. Yeah, it was a comfortable choice to me. What was chaotic to other people in the outside looking in was normal. There is something to be said about me learning to be comfortable with things just being OK."
Lohan said she has become more responsible and would like to get her life back on track.
"(I'm ready) to get the thing that has made me happiest my whole life back, which is to work really hard, stay focused and prove myself. I have to regain trust in people, in my career, that had doubts, and I fully respect that on their behalf... I am my own worst enemy, and I know that.
