'Priyanka wears red sari with purple border with hibiscus flower design'
28 April 2014
The daughter of the Nehru-Gandhi dynasty, Priyanka Gandhi, chose to step out in what could only be seen as a move to further provoke the Bharatiya Janata Party and garner support for the ailing Congress as she campaigned in Amethi.
"The red sari is an obvious attempt to wave the red flag at NaMo," said Lord Wendell Desai, a Goa-based designer and political commentator, on his way to a TV talk show debate. "But the purple hibiscus flowers on the border are a very interesting and subtle message: the flowers are a reference to the Shah Jahan gardens of yore and obviously signify that Ms Gandhi is comfortable with her feudal lineage, and that they are traced on a purple border is even more significant: Every one knows that purple is a royal colour."
When asked for a comment, Congress spokesperson Romi Tharoor, said:
"No comment".
'Country's top plastic surgeons investigating Priyanka Gandhi's nose'
29 April 2014
A group of the country's top plastic surgeons have been called in by BJP to investigate whether or not the hook in Priyanka Gandhi's nose is genuine or has been artificially inserted to make it resemble her grandmother Indira Gandhi's famous proboscis. "If this is established then we will file an FIR to arrest her, Mr Vadra and the rest of her family under Section 420 of the IPC for misrepresentation and wrongful claim to glory," said a senior BJP leader, in possession of an impressive pair of nostrils himself. "This is a blatant and unambiguous attempt to cheat simple villagers into thinking Mrs Indira Gandhi is alive and well and leading the Congress," he said, adding, "We may also launch a PIL on the matter of hair dye."
'Ellen DeGeneres to sue Narendra Modi over "selfie" copyrights'
1 May 2014
Internationally recognised selfie photographer Ellen DeGeneres is in consultation with leading Indian lawyers Harish Salve de Bruises and Ram Give de Money, to check if Narendra Modi's selfie, taken outside the polling booth after he had voted, violates international SA codes. When asked what SA code stands for, Salve de Bruises and Give de Money said it stood for ' Self - Aggrandisement'. "Ever since Shrimati DeGeneres broke records on Twitter and created history with her selfie at the Oscars, a new law has come in to place that disallows any one from getting too much publicity through a selfie. We are examining whether NaMo's action violates this law," they said before they embarked on lunch at the House of Ming where they were going to work on the state of the nation. DeGeneres meanwhile only said, "I would not have objected if he'd smiled for the selfie."
'Beyonce to join AAP '
2 May 2014
Ever since she got between the sheets of international newsmagazine Slime with AAP leader Arvind Kejriwal, the world famous pop and R&B artist Beyonce Giselle Knowles-Carter has elicited a desire to join the rising Indian political party known as the hippest show in the country. "I am destiny's child," said the beautiful singer who admitted to being 'Dangerously in love' with the dashing young leader also known as AK49 in his country.
When informed that an Opposition leader had called Kejriwal an anarchist, the 17-Grammy winner pursed her sumptuous lips and murmured. "Whoever said that must be a beautiful liar."
Malavika Sangghvi is a Mumbai-based writer malavikasangghvi@hotmail.com
