May 17, 2014: Hum Aadmi Party leader Kachrawal had perhaps slept for 13 minutes at the most, so momentous, so historical, so revolutionary had been the past 24 hours. Since the morning of the previous day, Kachrawal and his exploits had sent the country into a daze - not to mention Arnab Goswami, who had been rushed to hospital late the previous night. The nation wants to know what's wrong with you, Kachrawal smirked. He could afford to, having won 136 seats in the Lok Sabha, denying the so-called T Man his turn at the country's helm.
Already, sly, unctuous dealmakers had approached him. "Ah, Kachrawalji, badhai ho, badhai ho," they hadn't stopped gushing. In between the 'badhais', they had let known that 'madam' wouldn't be averse to supporting him for the highest post. Strange, how many brokers had approached him, all on behalf of 'madam'… from New Delhi, Lucknow, Chennai, Kolkata, Udhampur. Kachrawal, eyes red with lack of sleep, had told them he would think about their madams' requests. As if. Imagine what a burden they would be to him in government if they couldn't even understand that as the Hum Aadmi party, he could have nothing to do with women! Never!
Well, rebuffing the madams didn't mean he could not get the support of 140 more MPs. Power is like a jhaadu that sweeps everything in its path. No problems, no party other than Hum Aadmi was in a position to get new allies. I will request the honourable president for 49 days in which to prove our majority in the House, he decided.
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First, of course, I must try and work out a Rajya Sabha seat for Kumar Vicious, he prioritised. They had sent him to defeat RaGa Muffin in the full knowledge that even a real poet wouldn't be able to dislodge him. But Vicious had been game and deserved to have his verses heard in the Rajya Sabha.
Yoken Yadav, now there was a man, thought Kachrawal. The sage had yoked himself to the cause and taken everything in stride. Having faced with aplomb maniacal face painters, imagine how easily he would deal with those who threw accusations at him in times of terror attacks or droughts. Yes, home for him. And how could he forget Some Nut, the intrepid man who roamed the streets at midnight ready to take on any ghosts, even if they didn't exist? Law for him, is it then, he mused, or external affairs given his understanding of the motives of foreigners?
Well, he would approve FDI in retail. His cheeks blushed with embarrassment as he remembered how he had declared war against the proposal earlier. Red faced, he remembered someone instructing him about "FTI retell". And thinking foreigners were going to retell the Fairy Tales of India, he had protested with an emphatic No!
He would obviously have to make water free. And power too. The aam aadmi deserved power just as much as Hum Aadmi deserved to be in power. Free water and free power would necessitate a lot of money, and there was no Shiela Dikshit's accumulated largesse to fall back on this time. But that didn't matter. Kachrawal was the government now, and as he had maintained during campaigning, governments would always find a party of reliance somewhere or the other.
Free Run is a fortnightly look at alternate realities joel.rai@bsmail.in
