"What is this, sir? Shouldn't you be sitting in the Arena Fonte Nova and making a merry noise with the caxirola? I thought all this while that you were in Brazil. How come, sir, how are you still here?"
It's embarrassing when someone sees you and confronts you with statements like these. Yes, well I was actually booked to go to Brazil for the World Cup. See, I am a member of the Legislative Assembly and our government had approved the fam trip so that we could go to the South American event and come back with the experience to organise a show like that at home. Imagine how well we would have organised the inter-village wrestling camp! But the spoilsports got the better of us. They conspired to ruin our trip. Well, the government capitulated to the protesters and to fend off the critics, told us to pay for the expenses. As if. Football is not even my favourite sports, I prefer beach volleyball... ah, those skimpy dresses, long limbs… let's not think about these things. Now, if only the arena we were going to had been the Copacabana beach, I would have done a deal with a group that wants me to raise some questions in the House and got them to pay for my airfare and lodgings. But what's the use? So I decided not to spend my hard-earned crores and opted out of the trip to the World Cup. Now I am faced with embarrassing statements like these. I know people are laughing at me behind my back, mumbling stuff like 'Said he was going to Brazil, even asked me if I wanted a I Heart Dilma t-shirt'.
"No, no. I couldn't go because you see this project came up suddenly and how can I abandon a development project and traipse off to watch football just like that? Watch football, indeed! After all, the people voted me to power to work for them, not to goof off in sports stadiums." There, my answer should silence the scum and do my image a world of good while hiking my MLA ratings too. I can play him at his own game.
"Ah yes, sir. Bad business this, all these unnecessary protests over your trip. So sad, you couldn't go for the all-expenses-paid junket." Didn't he hear me, this brother-in-law of a man! But control, control…
"Hah, hah… you surely joke. As I told you, I am glad I decided not to go. Working for the poor is my religion, really. Though I will tell you that I could have learnt a lot of things from watching how they organised the World Cup."
"Why, is our country bidding for the next World Cup?"
I could detect the sarcasm. I definitely could see the smirk on his face. What do you know, you man of doubtful parentage, I wanted to shout at him. But how could I vent my frustration? I had to claim the moral high ground.
"You know how that inter-district kabaddi last year proved such a mess. The players did not know where to go to relieve themselves, the people with tickets were not allowed into the ground because all the seats had gone to the VIPs, the chief guest failed to come even one hour after the final was over… remember? Brazil would have taught us how to plan properly."
"I don't know, but people say the Brazilians did not want the World Cup. They feel that public money would have been better spent on development projects, like the ones so dear to you."
What could I say to that? I would score an own goal if I disagreed. I decided to slink away with dignity. There will be another World Cup and another trip. Hah!
Free Run is a fortnightly look at alternate realities joel.rai@bsmail.in
