 "Samsung Electronics Galaxy Note 7")
The holiday season is here, and you know what that means: gift purchases. But what about the people you hate, or just want to annoy?
For your hate-buying pleasure, we present the worst tech gifts of 2016. Spend wisely!
1. Stikbox selfie stick phone case
It looks deeply ugly and adds more than a half-inch of thickness to the phone, but that’s a small price to pay for having a selfie stick on hand everywhere you go.
2. Bruno smart trash can
Its smart features only work with Bruno bags, which cost way more than regular kitchen trash bags and are only available online.
3. Designed by Apple in California
This costly coffee table book contains virtually no information about Apple or its design; it’s just nice photos of Apple’s products over the past twenty years.
4. Inupathy
It’s a smart wearable for dogs that displays colors signifying the dog’s emotion, based on its heart rate and heart rate variability measurements.
5. Flatev
Jealous of your cousin’s beautiful kitchen? Ruin its aesthetics with the Flatev, a gigantic, ugly machine that offers its user a ridiculously inconvenient way to make “homemade” tortillas.
6. Smartress
Destroy a marriage by giving Smartress, a mattress that uses sensors to determine whether it’s being used for sex and then sends notifications via a mobile app.
7. Oombrella
Unlike some of these products, it’s not totally stupid – it is a functional umbrella, and it has a notify feature that could help prevent you from leaving it in restaurants or cabs, which is nice.
8. Belty Good Vibes
Belty has a variety of health-tracking features that will keep your friends distracted – hopefully distracted enough that they don’t notice all the giggling happening around them.
9. June Intelligent Oven
It takes away by facilitating home cooking without any skill development, ensuring that its owner is totally dependent on an expensive piece of hardware to create home-cooked food.
10. Ampy Move
This portable battery pack claims it can recharge your phone by generating electricity from your movements as you exercise. It would make an amazing gift if it actually worked, but most reviewers seem to agree it doesn’t.
11. Samsung Galaxy Note 7
The phone is a literal deathtrap, and even if it doesn’t explode, it’ll cause the recipient a huge inconvenience considering it’s banned on all flights.
